i don’t believe in myself.

I can’t wear what I want to wear without feeling disgusting. I let the fact that somebody has feelings for me make me believe I was untouchable. But here I am, more than ten pounds later, and I feel hideous. I have developed such bad habits and I don’t know what to do to fix it. Summer is quickly approaching. Exercising exhausts me within a minute, food eases the stress while the insults taunt me, repeat in cruel whispers, “you’re fat. fat. fat.” and I sure feel it. I don’t know anymore. I need to drop weight fast, I just need to. But it’s such long, strenuous work. I feel helpless, my stomach is constantly rumbling but it has no effect. I want to just give up, curl up in a ball with a bag of chips and forget the rest of the world.

If only it were that easy

If only I was beautiful.

cosmicmissle:

dont eat. dont eat. dont eat. dont eat. dont eat. dont eat. dont eat. dont eat. dont eat. eating makes yellow fat in my tummy. no one likes fat. everyone notices it. i cant eat. must not eat. dont eat. dont eat. no eating. no no no no. i just want my collarbones to show even more. and my hip bones. dont eat. dont eat. dont eat. dont eat.

(via lifefuckedmehard)